Where is God while I sit in the ashes?
Near. Yahweh is near to the brokenhearted, the coming Servant carried sorrow Himself, and at a funeral procession in Nain Jesus felt compassion before He said a word. And when grief strips you of prayer entirely, the Spirit Himself intercedes with groanings too deep for language.
This question arose from studying Is it wrong to keep grieving? Should faith make it stop?.
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What the Scripture says
Nearness is God's address for the crushed
Psalm 34 does not promise the brokenhearted a quick fix; it promises company: 'Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.' Nearness comes first, rescue second, and the order matters. The first thing God gives a crushed person is Himself.
Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
The Son walked this road before you
Isaiah saw it seven centuries out: despised, rejected, 'a man of suffering'. Then the turn: 'Surely he has borne our sickness, and carried our suffering'. Your grief is not foreign territory to your Savior; He carried sorrow long enough to know its weight by feel.
He was despised, and rejected by men; a man of suffering, and acquainted with disease. He was despised as one from whom men hide their face; and we didn’t respect him. Surely he has borne our sickness, and carried our suffering; yet we considered him plagued, struck by God, and afflicted.He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
Compassion came before the miracle
At Nain, Jesus meets a widow burying her only son. Luke records what moved Him first: 'he had compassion on her'. Only then does He speak, touch the coffin, and hand the young man back to his mother alive. When you wonder where God is in grief, this scene answers: close enough to feel it first, acting even before you ask.
When the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said to her, “Don’t cry.” He came near and touched the coffin, and the bearers stood still. He said, “Young man, I tell you, arise!” He who was dead sat up, and began to speak. And he gave him to his mother.And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not. And he came and touched the bier: and they that bare him stood still. And he said, Young man, I say unto thee, Arise. And he that was dead sat up, and began to speak. And he delivered him to his mother.
When grief steals your words, the Spirit prays
Mourning often makes prayer impossible; you sit silent because language is gone. Paul says the Spirit covers exactly this case: 'we don't know how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can't be uttered.' Silence before God is not absence from God; the groaning itself is prayer.
In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weaknesses, for we don’t know how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can’t be uttered.Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
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What happened to the person I love, the moment they died?→“Jesus said to him, “Assuredly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise.”And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.”Did anyone enter heaven before Jesus rose?→“These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them and embraced them from afar, and having confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.”Will I actually see them again, or just know they're safe?→“After my skin is destroyed, then in my flesh shall I see God, Whom I, even I, shall see on my side. My eyes shall see, and not as a stranger. “My heart is consumed within me.And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me.”How do I carry sorrow and hope in the same life?→“It is because of Yahweh’s loving kindnesses that we are not consumed, because his compassion doesn’t fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.”What do I say to someone who just lost someone?→“So they sat down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great.So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.”It has been months. Why is my grief not getting easier?→“How long, Yahweh? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?”Explore further
Does God really hear my prayers?→Prayer trail“This is the boldness which we have toward him, that, if we ask anything according to his will, he listens to us. And if we know that he listens to us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions which we have asked of him.And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him.”Hold onto these
Verses to meditate on
Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.
Surely he has borne our sickness, and carried our suffering; yet we considered him plagued, struck by God, and afflicted.Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.
In the same way, the Spirit also helps our weaknesses, for we don’t know how to pray as we ought. But the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can’t be uttered.Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
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